she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
