Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
