Non-Jews are for practice
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
