I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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