last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
