i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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