Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
