Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
