Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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