wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I touched a dick in church today
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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