i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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