First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
