I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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