it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
