craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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