They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
