She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
