I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
