You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
