You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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