hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize