remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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