At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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