Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
