then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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