he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
