I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
