That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize