Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
