He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
