is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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