i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize