What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
