You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
