I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
