He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
