Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
