he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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