Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
