Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
