so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
