did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
