I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
