I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
is wine microwaveable?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
