dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
