no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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