He is like the real live version of the state fair..
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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