In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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