Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
