hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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