So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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