How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
