i wish starbucks made bloody marys
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
