I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
