Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
