I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
