someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
last night I used snow as a chaser
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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