Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
