so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
