I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
