I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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