god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
