I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
