I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I forget how to act sober
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
