You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What a dumb baby whore.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
