You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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