can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
