her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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