Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize