someone threw a dead crab at me
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
